Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Tavern Tale Tuesdays

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This post is brought to you
by the letter 'X'

Last week, Kate@Another Clean Slate posted a pretty funny post about a mishap she had when she was meeting some friends for a drink. This story cracked me up and made me think of all the ridiculous things that I have done/have happened to me/I have seen when I have been out with friends or the hubby. I thought it would be fun to share these tales occasionally in post I'll title Tavern Tale Tuesdays. I'm starting with a story I'm actually embarrassed about, but I needed to use the letter x...

Without further ado...

One night the hubby and I went to a club where a friend would be the DJ. We got dressed up, and as per our usual we invited EVERYONE we would like to drink and dance with.

I was at my fittest and the hubby had bought me this amazing dress. It was not at all revealing but it hugged my curves in all the right places. I was looking pretty hot, and was feeling really confident that night. We had a lot of friends there and were having a fabulous time dancing our asses off and drinking copious amounts of liquor (my very favorite combo).

We were hanging out with these two really good looking guys I always thought were gay (because they were always together, dressed very fashionably, were well groomed and gentlemanly) but they were(are) totally straight. The hubby leaves to get me a gin and tonic (my drink of choice at the time).

I'm chatting with these guys and my cousin when I realize the hubby has been gone an awfully long time. I look up and see him chatting up these two girls at the bar and I can tell that he is buying them drinks. These girls were NOT a part of our group. We made up half our party and the other half was out on the dance floor.

I quickly turned into a jealous fucking Xanthippe, my alter ego. I turn to the guys and my cousin and get belligerent.

"Who the FUCK is he talking to?"

"Is he buying those bitches drinks?"

The guys start trying to talk me down with compliments, but I am kinda psycho when it comes to the hubby. I reach down for my heel...

"I'm going to stab him in the neck!"

The guys are a little startled, but continue to try and calm me down with a combination of flattery and rationalizations. It isn't really working the heel is in my hand but still close to the ground.

Then he (the hubby) turns toward us walking back to were we are sitting. With my drink in his hand, AND these two girls. My blood was boiling. I picture myself pouncing on him like a vampire.

Then I notice these girls are my hubby's good friends, one is his ex room mate and I happen to really like these girls, we invited them to come to the club that night. We always invite them, they never come (they don't live in town), but this night they did. I calm down immediately. I feel foolish, and about two inches tall. I slip my heel back onto my bare foot. I tell the now anxious guys about my mistake. They kind of laugh it off. Kinda. They keep it to themselves, out of fear, I guess.

The rest of the night goes great. I do fess up to the hubby. The next day.

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