Parenting Fail # 82

brush brush brush 

Okay, I'm gonna tell you the fail at the end, so be patient.

I have been patting myself on the back like a fucking pendeja (spanish for dumbass) for months now.

It all started when Animal got some teeth, I brushed them with that little finger brush.

Then we moved onto a training toothbrush. I (from day one) would sing Animal this song "Brush Brush Brush your teeth, morning noon and night, brush them, brush them, brush them, till they're clean and white." He would smile happily doing the motion of brushing teeth, up and down, side to side (because I would sing the tooth doing the motions prior to brushing as a warning of what was coming).

when I handed Animal his first training toothbrush, he knew just what to do. And he just did it.

I fucking patted myself on the back like a puta (Spanish for whore) would pat herself on the back for having three holes plugged. yeah I'm getting cochina in this post I was so fucking proud, like ridiculous bragging proud.

Now, I didn't actually brag to anyone, I just in my heart wanted to be all "my son brushes his teeth like a boss, cuz I'm a kick ass mom! Suck it bitches!"

Then one day, that little asshole was done with it.

Maybe that's being extreme. Is he an asshole for being a typical toddler? Yes! For letting my heart be all braggy and shit.

He was done with brushing his teeth.

I handed him his toothbrush and were he once brushed his teeth happily, he just threw it to the ground. Stepped on it. Or did anything else with toothbrush that would keep that toothbrush out of his mouth.

We couldn't get him to brush his teeth. We tried forcing it. By forcing I mean literally pinning his arms down, and holding his face. Yeah. We didn't want to, but dental hygiene is very important. So you know the fail here, I thought I was the shit mom, cuz I taught my kid to brush his teeth. No fights, no fuss no muss.

Anyway, the fail (for those of you that need it spelled out), obviously is that I thought I was...

Cooler, better, more awesome than most moms.

The truth was, I'm just like every other mom. Sometimes I rock, sometimes I'm rocked.

You'll be happy to know that he's brushing his teeth again, or he let's me brush his teeth. Sometimes, most days.

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