Monday, May 6, 2013

How Mommies Do It

Today's post is brought to you
by the letter 'E'

So how do mommies do it?

Get your minds out of the gutter, this is not about how we moms get down in the boudoir, it's about how we express ourselves.

Now I'm not going to lie, I occasionally curse in front of my son. He's 1 and a half and doesn't yet really talk, so I don't really feel too guilty. However, my years as a preschool teacher have been getting me prepared, I don't ever curse at work. So how do we mom's try to shield our children from our potty mouths?

Well there's a fair amount of spelling "Eff U", comes to mind. As does this old favorite "H-E-double hockey sticks". "He is such an A-S-S-H-O-L-E". You get my drift.

Also we change words for other words that are never as satisfying or even make sense. Fudge instead of Fuck. Shut the front door, instead of shut the fuck up. Silly instead of stupid or dumb, or  crazy (when did crazy become a bad word BTW). Shoot instead of Shit. Suddenly I'm drawing a blank, but you get it. (Feel free to add your own favorite/most used substitutes in the comments)

We're creative. We do what we have to do, and occasionally we fail.

Eff me it's hard!


  1. I use "frogs" in place of "fuck." The boy can spell now, so we can't even spell swears anymore unless we do it REALLY fast. He's also started reading blogs over my shoulder, which makes this month particularly challenging. On Friday, he started reading mine out loud, and the word "cunt" was coming up later in that same paragraph. Why did I ever teach him how to read??

    1. "Frogs", well that's a new one, I like it!

      You taught him to read cuz you're a good mom. New hardships and all I'm sure it's worth it!

  2. I've never censored myself in front of The Tinys. I find that what is not taboo is not a novelty.

    -The Insomniacs Dream

    1. The hubby has the same philosophy, so it will be interesting...

      I just don't want his first words to be God dammit...

  3. Freakin' = Fuckin'
    Darn = Damn
    Scat = Shit

    Why are these so hard to think of when you are trying to think of them?!

    I actually kind of love, "shut the front door".

    Cheers from B at

    1. I used to love "shut the front door" until o *had* to use it all the time ;)