The Hardest Part Of My Life Is...

The hardest part of my life is...
That was the topic at the Red Tent this afternoon. When I saw the topic I have to admit I wasn't feeling it. This is gonna be deep. Tears are likely to be shed, I thought, but I love attending. I have never regretted it. 
My friend Nursing Student signed us up, I didn't think about it all week.
Sunday, I ditched the hubby and Animal, and took a little time for myself. 
Listening to the other women speak, as always, I was amazed how different/the same we really are. The most wonderful thing about these gatherings is how connected you feel to the women around you, yourself and yes I'm gonna say it the world.
The other women spoke about procrastination, fear of the unknown, fear of change, about clutter, forced hiatus, loneliness, missions, being their own worst enemies, loss, and discipline.  I knew about two minutes in what I was going to talk about. Listening to the other women I realized how much more I had to say. 
All of the women's stories touched me, but there was one in particular that had nothing to do with what I was going through, but that touched me it this tender spot I have in my heart when I think about the future.  When the doctor told us I would be having a boy, I had this moment where I realized I would never share any special moment where I would recognize the women my baby was becoming. I mourned that loss for a millisecond, because I always knew I would have a baby boy. There was a woman there with her two daughters. It was touching to listen to the mom and the oldest daughter talk about recognizing the change from child to adulthood. It's hard to imagine, and at the same time not hard at all.
It, the Red Tent, as always provided a release. It allowed me to let go and share some things I've been holding onto for a long time. It also allowed me to recognize and respect my truths. Highlight of my afternoon, I met another working mom of a 15 month old! Here in my own hometown. We exchanged info and are planning a play date. I can't tell you how exciting this is for me. Thanks to blogging, thanks to Theme Thursdays I don't feel so lonely, but a real life mommy friend is much needed. I don't mean to sound all stalky so early in the meeting of a potential friend. The fact that she is a woman that is willing to frequent the Red Tent makes me feel hopeful that we have something besides our kids age in common. I'll keep you posted...