Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Sweet Goodbyes

Every. Weekday. Morning. I get up by 6 am. 

Earlier if I'm running. So that I have enough time to make breakfast for me and my family. Eat my breakfast, pump, wash pump stuff, pack Animal's breakfast, leave a pb&j for hubby and jump in the shower. 

I do this so that I can get Animal up at 7, change his diaper, nurse him and dress him. Then the hubby gets up he takes over for 30 minutes in which I have to get dressed, brush my teeth, maybe put on make up and flat iron my hair. Pack our lunches, Animals diaper bag, with a full days meals and snacks, pack my pump up  and load the car. 

At 8, 8:10 at the latest the hubby carries Animal and puts him in the car so that we(Animal and I) can get to grandma's house. We leave at that time so that by 8:15ish Animal can be sitting at grandma's kitchen table and I can feed him breakfast. I leave my mom's house between 8:35 and 8:40 so that I can be at work before 9 am when I clock in. 

I don't have to feed him breakfast, I could choose to let my mom handle it and just head to work early and have some time to myself or stop for a delicious cup of coffee. Or I could take my time in the morning and get some make up on my face to showcase the only part of me that's still presentable. 

But I don't. Because I miss my son. I want to spend time with him. I want to enjoy him. I don't want my mom's day to be longer and I want to give my son at least one meal a day. Sure I still nurse him twice a day but I can tell he's already weaning himself. Which is great because then I can have a glass or two of wine sooner, but terrible because soon we wont have that special us time.  

After I feed him I head out the door, but not before I grab his face and give him a lot of kisses he usually laughs and then starts to wave goodbye wildly. I love it, it's so cute and makes me happy to know that he knows our routine and he's happy. 

This particular morning after loading his soft face with at least a dozen kisses, he didn't wave goodbye. He didn't even look at me! I called his name at least a dozen times and practically begged for him to look at me. He picked up a book and took it to my mom so she could start reading to him. He refused to look at me, and because I spend every minute I can with him I had to go or be late.

I said good bye again to no avail and headed out the door. No sweet goodbye. Sometimes being a mom sucks. -


  1. Awww. That sounds heart wrenching! But the look on his face when you get back to him must be priceless!

  2. Ohhhh, these moments are so hard. You just want to go on-and-one about how much you love him and then throw in a few extra guilty-comments like: "come on, please I do so much for you, please just a little wave or coo just something." Haaa! I've had those moments, many-many of them.

    1. It's so hard to remember his world doesn't revolve around me.

      Glad I'm not the only one that has those moments

  3. Oh, kids know how to cut us deep. Great post. SOOOO true. Erin

    1. I never knew how much it sucked, I wish I could go back in time and be nicer to my parents!