Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Lying Liars

Okay ladies, can we get real for a moment?

It's very unlikely that your child (or my child for that matter) is gifted.

I know, I know it's a bitter pill to swallow. It's the way humanity works, a bell curve, with few on either end of the intelligence scale and most falling somewhere in the middle. And that's okay. A lot of incredible people were not geniuses.

"Mediocre people do incredible things all the time"- OK GO

What's my point? Why am I trying to burst your bubble?

Because I'm fucking sick and tired of listening to moms who think their little angel is SO smart. "My 3 year old can read".  Fuck you, your kid is in my class remember? They don't even recognize their own name 50% of the time!

"My Joey's so smart, he should be let into kindergarten early." Are you on CRACK? He cries like a little bitch if some one says they have the same yogurt at home because he doesn't UNDERSTAND the other kid isn't saying the yogurt your kid is eating is their's.

"My kid speaks Spanish." OMG I'm going to punch you in the throat if you think your child speaks Spanish because they can count to 5 and say vamonos! I would never say I speak french because I can say 3 pharses, and neither would you. So stop saying your kid can.

The worst part of these lies that these moms AND dads tell is that it makes so many other parents feel like complete piles of dog shit. Obviously they (we) are lousy parents because our kids aren't already getting their early admittance letters from Harvard.

I'm just here to tell you what my years as an early childhood educator have taught me, that at least this one thing is true, the number of parents who KNOW their child is gifted is very, very high, while the number of children that are actually ahead of their peers is far far smaller. Almost all of these parents are full of shit. So don't feel like an asshole, you and your kid are doing just fine.


14 comments:

  1. I had a friend that told me her daughter was just too smart to be potty trained. Seriously???? I just laughed, it was assinine.

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    1. Well she was too smart for her mom anyway, hee-hee.

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  2. Oh my, oh my, oh my. THANK YOU!

    I am very proud of the things my kids CAN do, the knowledge & skills they DO retain... but, when I see someone talking about how their kid who is the same age as my son (2) carries full adult conversations and how anyone who's child can't speak that well yet (mine doesn't) should maybe take them to "see somebody" about it... it makes me want to punch them in the throat.

    Isn't Parenting 101 that every single child is different? My child is different than your child. Each of my children are different from each other. Hell, my children themselves are "different" children from who they were yesterday, depending on the time/situation/place/amount of chocolate I've let them consume.

    I'm SO tired of feeling like I either can't talk about my kids or else I'll have to lie to keep up with the one million parents of kids who are "beyond their years". Bleh. Gives me a bad taste in my mouth!

    Preach on, girl!

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    1. I knew I wasn't the only one feeling this way!

      I am not BTW saying kids aren't smart. Most kids are and clever too! But I've see first hand hundreds of 2-5 yos and only 1 could for realsies read, but dozens are really smart or talented. My kids not a eloquent either, but he has other talents.

      I just don't get it, I've always hated seeing good parents feel crappy about some imagined IQ gap, and now as a mom I've fallen into that trap too. I'm done with it :)

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  3. Thank. You.
    When did parenting become a competitive sport?
    I love this so much.

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  4. Sooo many parents need to hear this! And not just when their kids are little; I taught high school for years and couldn't believe how many parents wanted their kids in Honors classes when their child couldn't write a complete sentence!

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    1. Ha Ha! You mean I'm gonna be hearing this garbage for ALL of my kid's life?

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  5. My oldest son can write better than you OR I, and my youngest (8) can already tattoo masterpieces. :)

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    1. ;p I missed the smiley face earlier....

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  6. This is hysterical. I am so sick of this too, Give me a break!!!

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  7. HILARIOUS!!! I so get this. We homeschool, but there is such a dayum pissing contest with some Moms about it - your 18m old speeks Latin, huh? Ok, whatever. It drives me insane, but i just try to smile while screaming inside.

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    1. I read your post earlier about mommy bullies and that is exactly the shit I'm talking about! IRL I just smile too, but inside my head feels like it's going to explode.

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