This week it's my job to give you advice on something that I am an expert at.
I asked the hubby what he thought I could give advice about. What am I really good at? His suggestion?
"You're really good at being passive aggressive", he said.
As good as I can be at that, it doesn't seem like the kind of advise any of you are looking for.
Then he said, "You're really good at being prepared".
"How so?", I asked because I was honestly surprised by his answer and figured he was being sarcastic.
So he totally surprised me with some sweet words on how I handle situations as they are arising as examples. For instance, I had been petrified of ever having a baby, since fifth grade when I watched a birth video in sex ed. When I discovered that I was growing a human, I was so happy and so scared. So I started doing what I do best.
When faced with an important decision, I find that the only way to move forward is to learn as much as possible. Think about how I would feel and then go with my gut. I try to anticipate any surprises, so that I can be prepared to change my plans if I need to. I don't want to be completely caught off guard. So here's how to come up with a birth plan, like a boss.
First if your terrified like me, find out what a doula is, what she does and hire one.
Next, or first if you are not terrified. Start researching. Research everything.
Start with who you want to deliver your baby.
Watch documentaries. Read books. Google. Talk to moms. Visit baby center.
Download some birth plans and then research everything on those plans, especially all the things that the mom to be would like to avoid.
Listen to every one's advice but make your own choices based on what's best for you and your family. Talk to your partner. You should agree on as much as possible.
Once you have planned what you ideally hope for, start talking about what you will do if something unexpected happens. Like if you don't want to be induced, but your 10 days over due. At what point do say uncle? What if you plan to get straight to the hospital and get an epidural, but you get to the hospital and your Dr says it's too late, no drugs for you, how will you cope?
Go over your plan with your Dr, they may have a compelling argument to change your mind about some idea you have. Or you may have to give a compelling argument about it being your body, your baby and your choices. Either way, you want your Dr.s green light.
A birth plan is not a concrete plan set in stone, it is a just a guide for as many scenarios as possible. So that you can have some reassurance knowing that if something less than ideal happens, everyone there knows how you would like the situation handled, when you were cool headed and not in the throes of pain or a heightened emotional state.
When my water broke, I was ready for whatever adventure I was about to have. I had spent a better part of my life being terrified of child birth, but I was totally calm the last few weeks leading up to my sons birth. Because I felt prepared for any surprise.
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