Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Parenting Fail #75

I have something to confess.

I've mentioned here, and here, maybe a few other times that we don't put children's programming on for Animal, and that's not a lie. I really wanted to follow the AAP recommendation of no television until 2 years old. I've told my family, and Animal's babysitters and it's the rule we abide by in our home.

We do watch TV so it's not like he's not exposed to it, and he does watch minutes here and there. Also when I have to trim his nails we'll put on a Yo Gabba Gabba or Sesame Street video on our smart phones.
Our favorite song- Don't Bite Your Friends

But, my mom, who watches Animal 5 days a week, 9.5 hrs a day. Puts on Nick Jr for anywhere from 1-2hrs a day (maybe more, for all I know). He doesn't really watch whole shows, but he does watch a few minutes here and there, of shows he likes, while he plays.

I hate it. I hate it so much. I don't say anything because my mom is older, and tiered and my son is a lot to handle. I know. If it makes her day easier I don't want to complain. We all watched TV, and other than being coach potatoes, we're all cool. None of us had/have ADHD which is what I'm scared of, so...

In the last two weeks I have put on Nick Jr for 5-10 minutes while I do something, like make his lunch. So that I could do it in peace, without him screaming his head off, or resetting the satellite. I feel terribly guilty each time I do, but I just need 5 minutes of peace. I tell myself that it isn't the norm and he doesn't just plop down and watch it mesmerized. So, maybe it

isn't so bad...

Well last week when I did this, the Hubby made a comment. Something to the effect of me being a hypocrite, because I was doing something I said I wouldn't do. Not in those words, and not even with malice. Just matter of fact. Usually I would smack that kind of remark right down with my own criticism. Maybe, just because I feel so shitty about it. I didn't really respond.

So I don't really know where I am now.

I guess where I am, is in a space of some, but not total resignation.

I just can't entertain him non stop. Sometimes I have shit to do, and sometimes I'm alone or the hubby is just as busy as I am. So I'm  going to use the TV for a few minutes, here and there. I'm not perfect, I tried, and I still wont sit him in front of the television for a whole show. But two isn't that far away...right...




19 comments:

  1. I tried to wait until two.Then he got sick and I gave up at maybe 20 months. The main concern with tv under two is language delays, though, and he was already ahead in that department, so I excused myself that way.

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  2. Shit, language delays...umm. Animal is definitely NOT Ahead in this area. I honestly only knew it could up his chance of a learning issue... I just don't know...

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  3. Although I have heard tv watching can hinder some areas of development, I have also read that its great with music association. There is a generation of children that are able to recognize bach and mozart when most adults are clueless...provided of course that the shows they are watching play this music...I was really big on the baby bach series when my goddaughter was little.

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    1. It's not that I don't think it has it's merritts...

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  4. OMG you totally have to be flexible when parenting. Whatever rules you made for yourself when he was born have to be flexible enough to grow with him and with you, as your grow into your role as parent.

    We lasted for all of a year trying not to expose our first kid to TV and once the twins came around - well, I have to tell you, the TV is on Nick Jr. almost ALL day. Now, it's rare that the girls sit down and watch for more than 10 minutes at a time. They just don't care that much. They beg for Star Wars and watch 10 minutes of it and then go play. They beg for Max & Ruby and *might* watch a whole episode but they are a far cry from couch potatoes.

    Give yourself a break and don't start freaking out until you think it's becoming a problem.

    My 3 year olds know more than some of the kids in my 5yo's kindergarten class - just because they learn colors, numbers, letters, etc from the shows. We read to them, but they learn MUCH more from Nick Jr.

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    1. That's how he seems to be. focusing only a few minutes here and there, if there's music... It isn't a problem, yet

      I know you're right about three flexibility too, thank you :) it's so easy to feel like a failure when it comes to our kids. I really appreciated your comment

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  5. Don't beat yourself up about it. Parenting is full of those moments when you do something you said you would ABSOLUTELY never do. You're restricting tv viewing and monitoring how it goes...it'll be fine!

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  6. I thought I'd never let Maya watch TV, and I too am guilty of letting her watch it almost daily. As long as you love your child and care for him with everything you have, you are doing awesome! Sometime we all need a little break, and a little TV (which Maya loves) is not gonna break her.. I felt shame around it for a while, and I just got right with it. I am ok with her watching some tv. She gets 95% of my attention the rest of the time, and sometime I need a little break... SO DO YOU! I get you good intentions, and I regardless of whether you allow him to watch TV, you still have good intentions! That's what counts. You are a great mom, I have no doubt. Sometimes being a good mom is giving yourself a little space.. Whats the saying - if mom's not happy no one is. :) Anyhow, I get the feeling of guilt and shame. And, once I got ok with it, I stopped feeling bad for my choices.

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    1. I guess that's a more accurate description of where I am. Trying to get right with my choices. It's ridiculous the pressure we feel over the choices we make. You're absolutely right, the important part is to love and care for children!

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  7. I would definitely NOT sweat it. Everything in moderation. Make sure Animal has plenty of variety in his activities, give him lots of love and everything will be just fine. You're doing great! :)

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    1. Thank you! All the supportive comments have really helped me get over myself and the impossible super mom expectations. I can still be a super mom even with occasional TV viewing :)

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  8. I found you through the Honest Voices link-up. Honey, I feel for you. I truly do. I have 3 kids and with my oldest I was very against things like tv, fast food, letting kids use electronics like the iPad, eating in the car, the list goes on. (and on) Eventually reality trumps idealism and you just do what works. Just being aware and setting boundaries with it proves you are a good mom. Unfortunately, this won't be the last time that you find yourself doing something you thought you would never do. Just know that you are in good company.

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    1. Thank you, I'm really glad I decided to share. I feel much better.

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  9. It is okay to take a break. If you need the TV, you need the TV. So be it. I didn't let my son watch TV before but now I do, but I choose the shows he watches carefully. My son has expressive language delays, and television is actually helping him! He's 2 now and is the only one in his class who knows all of his letters. I attribute that to shows like Super Why and Sesame Street among other things. Don't beat yourself up. Mommies do the best that we can.

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    1. Super Why, I keep hearing about that show, I'm going tp have to look for it. I remember learning a lot on Sesame Street myself, funny how hard we can be on ourselves. thanks

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  10. TV is an okay break. You're not using it as a baby sitter. Reality is as parents there are times when we need to get things done and done quickly or done sanely. There are days when my spawn watch way too much TV and I go to bed feeling awful. Then I remember - they love being outside, they have awesome imaginations....they are loved, they are fed, they are cared for...and they know all these things.

    Don't beat yourself up. Ever. As parents we have enough to deal with on a minute by minute basis. A little TV here and there...oh well. It's all good.

    Found you through the JD Honest link up!!! Love your blog! New follower here!!

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    1. Thanks for the reality check and the kind words ;)

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