Monday, March 24, 2014

Parenting Fail #98, #102, and #144

We have been dealing with this fail for a long time.

I can't really remember when it started only that Baby Centers emails reassured me, and other parents that this was a normal phase, and how to best deal with it.

We tried to follow the advise and tips. Then we went rogue and tried harsher tactics. It didn't work, and we reverted quickly back to the Baby Center tips. I thought we were finally past it, and we were on to the next. We were wrong.

My son is a biter.

We don't know why. He's got so many words and he's learning more and more to ask for things and to express himself with these words. We do not bite. We do not spank we don't even really swat. (That's what we tried by the way, hitting his mouth. It didn't work, and we decided after each trying it once that it would not work with our kid). We are not violent. We use words to fight with in our home. So why so much aggression? Why biting?

I was a biter, could that explain it? My dad bit me, and I stopped he says. I can't do it. Besides he has bitten himself (and left teeth marks) and it has not deterred him.

I am at my wits end. I feel embarrassed, stupid and incompetent. 

I believe as a professional I should be able to help him, or at least have the patience to deal with it. He's not the only two year old I know with this problem and God knows he wont be the last. In the mean time I have a fear of taking him anywhere or doing anything. I don't think I'm writing this as a cry for help. Feel free to leave me advice, I think I've heard it all, but I could be wrong. He's in school (where he will be shadowed in the near future as they try to help us get through this phase). We take him to the playground, we give time outs, and offer a ton of attention and love. What else? What else is there? 

I think I'm writing this post more as a confession. Asking to be absolved. I want other people to know I recognize the problem. We recognize the problem. We are working (have been working on it) for so long, and we wont give up. I'm sorry if my son bites you, or your child. I try to be close enough to stop it. We are consistent in not allowing it, of giving consequences for these actions. 

I have to believe that someday we'll get past it. Everyone does, right? I did. Animal will too.  


  1. I think its great that you have shared this! You are so brave to have shared this and I really do hope he gets over it soon!

    1. Thanks Trine, I don't know so much about brave. I think it's more like resignation to where we're at. Also maybe selfishly hoping to see I'm not the only one. Or that maybe people understand more than I think they do. It sure is different being on this side of a biting child.