Thirty Somethings At Outside Lands

My husband and I have not been avid concert goers. Ticket prices seemed to always be more than we wanted to spend.  I tend to fall asleep anywhere after 10pm. So for those reasons it wasn't ever a priority. 

When we found out we were pregnant, something happened to my husband and he developed a great urgency to live a little. The year I got pregnant he went to no less than six concerts. Two of them were music festivals. I fought to go went to one where we had seats , but I passed on the chance to go to Outside Lands that first year because after he took me to Florence and the Machine on our anniversary at four months pregnant. I knew I would not want to walk/stand for a three straight days without being able to drink. 

The hubby had the most amazing time and has gone every year since. This year after many setbacks I finally got to go with him. My brother and my soon to be SIL offered to watch Animal and my mom (who is his other primary caregiver) was there too. I didn't go all three days, so I had to try to see and do all I wanted in one day.

Doors opened at noon, we wanted to leave at 11, but as usual when it's a personal day we're always running late. So we left at a quarter to noon. We parked across from the shuttle at 12:30ish and got in line for the shuttle that would take us to Golden Gate Park. The line was long, the ride is about 25 minutes long. We were on the Shuttle at one and as we pulled away we were surprised to see the line had more than doubled since we got there. 

Next, as we are dropped of at the gate, we somehow manage to miss the line doubling again. It took nearly another hour to get in.

There was so much art. Live artist painting murals. Past murals lined the outer edges of the event. There were painted structures all over. Some to admire and others to rest your achy feet. I could have spent several hours just walking through this area and watching the painters. Sadly, as fore mentioned, I had only one day so I only spent and hour walking through the art.

There were DJs, comedy shows, Skits, vaudeville acts, magic shows, break dancers, arts and crafts, carnies and even "camp" where we could have played board games and shit. We walked past all of that. No time. I definitely need to go for the three days.

There were so many choices in food. So much to drink. We did not eat, or drink to our hearts content. I didn't want to use the port a pottys any more than absolutely necessary and I'm sure that's self explanatory. 

We did however stop at beer lands, wine lands and for a cocktail. So good and like all events so pricey. At least my cocktail wasn't watered down. 


Outside lands is held at Golden Gate Park, so it is dusty, windy and awesome. 

At four we head to the stage where Death Cab for Cutie would perform. The hubby likes to get as close to his favorite bands as possible so we head to that stage as the band BEFORE Death Cab is going to start.  We find a decent place to stand for Haim, a band I've never heard of. At first I'm really bummed I'm not getting one last drink because I know we're not moving once DCFC starts. Then the energy really picks up and I really enjoy the three sister band. 

After they finish and the crowd starts to leave, we inch our way forward to find a better, closer spot. They are awesome, they play everything I want to hear. I almost completely ignore the people who have continued to inch forward and are now standing in spots where was once 8 inches between me and the person in front of me. 

Death exits after marveling at the fact that they are opening for Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers. Again after they finish and the crowd thins, we inch our way a little closer to the stage. It's comfortable.

Until the show starts. Don't get me wrong. Tom Petty put on a great show and he played almost everything I wanted to hear. He really rocked and the crowd was super into it. However, after standing in basically the same spot for four hours prior to his starting, my feet, back and body were done. I'm a middle aged woman for God's sake. Not to mention the people again squeezing into spaces that don't exist. The hubby who is much larger and who had already done this for two days had to be dying. He didn't seem to be. He loves music so much and was just in mega beast mode. I was impressed. 

The show ended just before ten. We trekked out to the shuttles, waited, road back to our car, walked to our car and headed home. We got home after midnight. It was exhausting and wonderful. 

Twelve Years

Today the hubby and I celebrate twelve years of marriage. 

Twelve years of kisses, hand holding, and warm embraces. So many good times and sweet memories. Shopping for rings. Giggling through wedding vows. Buying our first piece of furniture together. Times with good friends,  and with family. Trips, where we drank, ate, and explored together.  The birth (the actual labor and delivery)  of our son. A moment I count as one of the most romantic moments of our lives together.  

Twelve years of the same arguments. The same misunderstandings, the same hurts. Years of doing little things that make each other crazy, me forgetting important items like a wallet, a phone, tickets, or directions. Him saying things that make me want to punch him in the face.  (I don't, I just want to sometimes). Big fights, little fights, sometimes tears.

Twelve years of every days. Monotony. The same old, same old. Ups and downs of course (as listed above) but mostly just the same old shit.

You might think I'm complaining, on the contrary I wouldn't want it to be any other way. This every day stuff is great, because I like my husband. He cracks me up. He adds spice to my life and he's my partner. I enjoy spending days at home with him and just shooting the shit. We have a lot of fun together. 

I love my husband so much it's ridiculous really. I'm so sappy, and so head over heels in love that you probably want to punch me in the face. I still get excited when I know he's on his way home to me. Don't be jealous, we want to kill each other sometimes too. Just like every other couple. There's nothing special about us, except we know how lucky we are and that this is it. 

THIS IS IT.
  

Week 2, 100 mile challenge

I'm doing this thing.

So this is it, week two. Only two to go...

Are you wondering how it went? Well, this week was easier in some ways.

I'm getting used to hearing my alarm ring. Every. Fucking. Morning. For one thing.

It's fun to see the miles add up and to know I'm getting closer and closer to my goal.
I feel healthy and strong. Even a little sexy.

It's also harder in other ways.

Like I get up at 5 am everyday, but my day doesn't slow down in anyway. Even though I have more energy to handle certain things, I also don't have enough time for others.

Like writing.

I used to write at night while hanging out with the hubby. But lately I start getting drowsy at 7:30-8 o clock. No surprise to anyone that knows me, including of course my husband. That means that I have to choose.

Spend time and effort in my marriage or on my hobby. I know a marriage takes work. I love ours. So I choose to put my energy (what little I may have) there.

I also have less time to get myself, or the multitude of stuff that I usually do for me and my family, done in the morning.

Like eating my breakfast vs. wolfing it down.

Putting on make up vs some erase paste under my eyes and maybe some chapstick on my lips.

Packing us all lunches vs. packing them for my boys and I relying on the Think Thin bars I have stached in my classroom cabinet at work.

Or writing at 5 am, in blessed silence. Just me, my thoughts and my laptop

It's only for this one month. So is it worth it?

Today. This morning. It is.

This is what week two looked like.

How Do I Love Thee...

How Do I Love Thee (Sonnet 43) by Elizabeth Barrett Browning is my favorite love poem. It's fanciful, sweet and youthful. From the first time I read it in freshman English it became a favorite. Like love itself, it's classic.

Tomorrow the hubby and I celebrate our eleventh wedding anniversary. 

Like every anniversary before it, it is both a little surprising and completely expected that we would be here. I can't fathom a world in which we're not a set. Not an Us. I love my husband more than when we were silly kids. To the level of every day's most quiet need, by sun and candlelight. 

I'm not ever going to be one of those people that pretends that marriage is easy or comes naturally. Melding two worlds into one often feels impossible if not a useless defeating act. Where both parties are unfulfilled by the task of endless compromise.  

Other times it feels like you've just fallen in love all over again. You swoon when your partner kisses you or holds your hand. Maybe if you're like me you go around reciting poetry in your head while your heart skips a beat for your beloved.

Mostly, you go about the day to day in a content mood. Muddling though the shit you hate (possibly your job, commute, housework) so that you can make it to the time of day where you get to do the same thing you do almost every night. Enjoying the moments where you get to laugh together, reminisce, and shoot the shit, because at the end of the day you just don't want to be without the family you chose and made together. 

So my dear husband,

I love thee with the breath, smiles, tears, of all my life!--and if God choose. I shall but love thee better after death

Happy Anniversary, here's to many more!

Thoughtful Guys

Beautiful Flowers

Delicious and Healthy meal

 

A favorite 

My husband is a thoughtful guy. When he decides he's going to make a romantic gesture, he really thinks about it. He thinks about the person (mostly me) and what that person wants (or better yet needs). He plans every detail about how he will execute said gesture down to the last detail. He will not relinquish or outsource any part of his gift.

perfect pairing

When the hubby buys me flowers, he doesn't just go down to a florist and grab an arrangement. He picks all the flowers, and all the greenery that will go in the arrangement. The bunch pictured above was from this Valentine's day, when he gave to me he said, "I'm sorry I know they don't really pop". So weird to hear a guy say, but really it was the least fun color pallet he's ever gifted me. Super beautiful still, and I'm old fashioned in this way. I LOVE flowers.

Next my hermit husband spent some time talking to the sommelier (not sure if that's the right term since he doesn't wait on table) at Whole Foods. To pick a bottle of wine that I would really enjoy and a bottle that would compliment the meal he had decided to cook. When I got home with our son he was putting the finishing touches on a scrumptious (but calorie conscious) meal (because I'm on weight watchers).

This wasn't the first or only time he was thoughtful. He does that sort of thing randomly.

Once I came home from a staff dinner on a night we were going out to a club with some friends and I wondered how I would have time to both get ready and find something to wear. When I walked in the door, the hubby surprised me with a whole new outfit, including the perfect scarf and heels to compliment the great ensemble.

I came home one day and found Christmas lights strung up over the head of the bed in the shape of a heart.

On my birthday one year he declared that it was my birthday for a week. Everyday for a week, he did something sweet and kind to celebrate my birthday.

When I come home from work, he's waiting outside the garage to get Animal out of the car seat and carry him upstairs.

Most nights since he gets home just a little bit before Animal and I, he's picked up the living room so it doesn't look like a tornado has just struck it (like when we leave in the morning). He's often also made Animals crib for him and layed the boppy on the chair where I nurse our son so that our bedtime routine is prepped.

When we realized one night that Animal's PJs were getting snug and most of the Pjs I had purchased were 2T instead of 18 months like he needs, he ran out and bought him several pairs that same night.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who is lucky enough to have a unselfish partner, but because I'm only good at day to day (boring) thoughtfulness and a disaster at trying to be clever and smooth. I wanted to say thanks and to tell you a little about the thoughtful guy I'm fortunate enough to be married to.

TT A Wedding Story

The hubby and I were just babies when we decided to get hitched. We were 23, and had been living together for a few months. It just seemed to make sense, that since we had managed not to kill each other, we should get married.

We went down to city hall to get a license and make an appointment for the BIG day on a Tuesday afternoon. They gave us an appointment for Thursday afternoon, they told us it would take about 20 minutes, we needed 2 witnesses and could have 10 guests.

Yup, it's that simple folks. Who cares that we were too young to make that sort of life altering decision. We had the 70 bucks it cost, so apparently that signals to big brother that we must completely understand what we are doing.

We went out that night to the only place two young adults working part time jobs could afford to shop, Wal-Mart. Our wedding bands were the only two bands that matched in the jewelry department. We tried them on and they fit perfectly. I took it as a sign that this wedding was meant to be.

We told our families, they were both supportive? Or figured we were adults (which we were) and could make our own decisions. I called all the people I knew that I didn't want to run into later and be all, "oh yeah, by the way I got married yesterday/last week/last month/last year" as the case may be. Just because I wasn't inviting anyone didn't mean that I didn't want to share impending nuptials. I was most definitely happy, and SO in love.

I remember when I told my boss that I would like the day off because I was getting married, she said she could only let me off an hour early because she thought I had lost my mind it happened to be graduation day. So it was that on the day I got married I worked most of my shift before going home and getting ready with my betrothed.

We met our families in the lobby of City Hall. My little sister made me a bouquet. We were excited, nervous and completely naive to what we were willing choosing to do.

The Justice of the peace looked younger than us.

My soon to be hubby giggled and teared up. I tried to make sure I repeated everything without choking up, and in a audible voice.

I remember hearing the justice of the peace say, "It's not about finding the right partner, it's about BEING the right partner". I loved that. I remember that everyday. I'm not even going to pretend that I actively try to BE the right partner, because I totally don't. But I don't look at my spouse and blame HIM for not being the partner that only exist in movies, sitcoms and fantasies. Instead when things are not going well I look at what I am doing, or more likely NOT doing and accept my share of the blame.

After the ceremony, we had a late lunch with the family. Then we went to Safeway and bought an ice cream cake so we could share a slice and save some for our first anniversary. We also bought some liquor and watched a movie followed by our first married nookie.

I would never advise anyone to get married before the age of 30, I'm pretty sure that the hubby would never advise any one to get married ever. But I know that we would never want to be without each other. BEST worst decision ever!


This post is part of a multi-blog collaboration. To hear about others better planned weddings or add your own story click the button above.