What We Are Reading: BATMAN Who is Clayface?

The hubby has a new job and is working near a comic book store. 

When he came home with, BATMAN Who Is Clayface by Donald Lemke, pictures by Steven E. Gordon Colors by Eric A. Gordon.  I have to say I was a little disappointed. Not because I'm not a fan, but because Animal is a little much sometimes and super hero/bad guy play,  is not something he needs any extra encouraging with. 

All doubts however were wiped away when I saw the excitement in his face! One important thing when hoping to instill a love of books in a child (or any person for that matter) is to remember, interest in subject matter is of utmost importance. So if like me you're not a fan of sci-fi, don't frown when your child comes home with Dune.  Instead look on the bright side. If your child brought home a book it's probably going to get read. There in lies the trick.

What's the silver lining in our new favorite bedtime story?

1. VOCABULARY! 

What's a detective mama? A person who solves mysteries by paying attention to clues and asking questions.  What's a batarang? It's a special boomerang that looks like a bat. What's a viking? A Scandinavian pirate. What's a utility belt? It's like grandpas tool belt only filled with the things Batman needs to fight crime. 

We have learned a lot of new words.  They are seeping into his free play time and therefore creating new synapses in his little brain. Important new information onto which he can connect other new facts. This is important because it's hard to grasp new information unless it can be connected to knowledge already acquired. 

2. ATTENTION SPAN. 

This book is 36 pages long, it takes longer to read, but he is so interested in the content  and pictures that he follows closely. A skill that will translate to other books and activities.

3. EXTENDED LEARNING POSSIBILITIES. 

This story has a lot to work off as far as lesson planning goes.

For instance in the story Clayface robs a bank. What can he learn from this you might wonder? 

We can play bank. We can practice counting skills, sorting, and simple math can be presented. If he were a little older we might draw up our own money and talk about where money comes from. We might visit a bank, talk through the process of depositing and withdrawing money. What other things can you do at a bank? Maybe take a deposit and withdrawal slips to copy and have some writing and math practice. 

There are also science opportunities. Matt Hagen becomes Clayface when he falls into toxic goo. You could play mad scientist. Look up the recipe for silly putty, play dough, gak, or clay. You could fill glasses with a few drops of yellow, red and blue food coloring. Then mix them with your child to see what new colors they get.

How about art or PE? Trace your child on butcher paper of let them trace you. Then color or paint a few "wax" figures. Put them up around your backyard and let your kid go wild with a boomerang. 

If my son was older and had some writing skills I might ask him to imagine he was Mat Hagen and tell me how he might use is new shape shifting skills in a short story. If he got really creative, I could help him transform his story into a short play. We could build a set and make a short video. 

The possibilities to get creative and teach your child in a meaningful way through his own interest  are really only as limited as your imagination.

Now get out there and have fun!

What We Are Reading: Building Empathy

Empathetic children. It's a characteristic most of us can agree we want our children to have. We're not the only ones. Experts have been talking a lot about it. I was reminded of this when I read this great article .

It was about why it's so important for boys and how to foster it. I giggled a little, not because I thought it was silly, but because one of the first tips was about giving little boys baby dolls. It reminded me of a certain story I shared with you. 

The other tips where great too. One was about reading with our children. It talks about a gap in reading to girls vs. boys by parents. The gap starts even before a first birthday. This makes me so sad, but I can totally relate. 

Reading is one of my greatest loves and I have been waiting so long to share that love with my child(ren). When Animal wanted nothing to do with books I could have literally cried. I refused to give up, reading daily to him. Eventually the day came when he picked his own story. It just got better from there. I could have given up, would have given up, if reading didn't mean so much to me. 

Empathy is an important skill for both sexes, it fosters courage, happiness and even success in the work place. 

Children's books are a great place to begin to build this essential skill. Books allow children to experience different points of view. To understand why others feel sad, happy, excited, scared, or lonely. To name their feelings. When you read to your child you can facilitate this process. You can ask leading questions like," What do you think the boy is feeling?" , "Why do you think he's scared?", or  "What would you do if this was happening to you?"

I have noticed my son has a hard time understanding when I'm upset. If I scowl and ask, "Am I happy or grumpy?" he can easily identify how I feel. I reward him with happy faces as well. He has really responded to this and I find he is more easily redirected this way. We can hone this skill at story time. When we read I like to ask, "Does he have a happy face or a grumpy face?" 

At work I use this technique as well. If someone is unkind or aggressive in my class room I ask them to look at their friend, how do they look? How do they think their friend is feeling right now? And finally, What can you do to make your friend feel better? Even two year old can start to understand and contemplate these things. By the end of the year I don't have to prompt them very often, they learn what to look for and how to make a situation right. Don't get me wrong, they are children and don't always care to make things right, but it's not about creating submissive robots, it's about giving them the tools to function socially.

There are many children's books specifically about feelings, and how to deal with them. There are also books like, HEY, LITTLE ANT By Phillip and Hannah Hoose.  That directly ask children to think about how they or others may feel. They are great. But don't think you have to limit yourself to books like this. Fiction titles are especially good at doing the same thing in a profound and meaningful way. 

I can still remember sobbing when I read Where The Red Fern Grows. Or how concerned I was for Ponyboy and Johnny. These characters along with hundreds of others taught me about being someone outside of myself. Outside of my comfort and even made me care for or understand someone I may have otherwise written off or disliked. The empathy that can be built when you step outside of yourself and into someone elses' shoes it's unparalleled,  because there just no other way to feel what someone else feels and think their thoughts and live their outside influences as well.

Empathetic children, another reason to read to your child.

What We Are Reading: The Block Mess Monster

Have I got a book for you!

I bought this book a few years back, I skimmed through it decided it was not lesson plan material, and threw it in my late spring/early summer bin for our class bookshelf. I picked that time of the year because most of my class has turned 3 by then and I thought the concepts in the story and language were better suited for 3 year olds.

What book am I talking about?

A New Favorite!

The Block Mess Monster by Betsie Howie, illustrated by C. B. Decker, has become a class favorite! Not just my class of toddlers, but from my 2.5-5 years old. The kids LOVE this book. The younger ones love the pictures (as do I) and the older ones really seem to feel for the main characters plight. I have been reading this book multiple times a day to a fascinated and giggling crowd for two weeks. It is not getting old. I love to read it, and they love to listen. Animal even tells me at home he is Calpurnia. 

This story is about Calpurnia, her mother, and the block mess monster. A monster made of blocks that is keeping our protagonist from cleaning her room and her mother who cannot see this creature (only the giant mess) and who is loosing patience, fast.

I really enjoy the back and forth the mother and daughter have. It's really all of us parents, loosing our cool at some point after having nagged, all day? all morning? for our children to do just one simple thing. To clean up their toys. Only told from the perspective of the frustrated child, because let's fast it, it's hard not to be understood by the adults (well meaning as we might be). 

What parent hasn't been here?

The kids just crack up at the this marvelous (dare I say accurate) portrayal of the mother at her wits end. The best part of the story, is that in the end the mother figures out how to help her daughter and Calpurnia feels heard. It's really what we all want. I highly recommend this book and believe me I'll be looking for this book in hardcover come Christmas for my own little one!

Buying Children's Books Cheap

Acquiring an assortment of books for your child(ren) can get very, very expensive quickly. In order to do so on a budget will require some thought and planning on your part, but can certainly be done. Here are a few helpful tips on building a library for your home.

1. Buy (or get) used. Garage sales, flea markets, thrift stores, craigslist, freecycle, friends, family (because fellow book lovers hate to get rid of books, but love to pass them on to a new home) and even your local library. They are all great places to find gently loved books. Kids don't mind a few scribbles or a bent corner. They only care about the chance to read a new story with you.

2. Check out the bargain section at your local big box store. You can often get some great hardcovers for as much as 90% off retail price.

3. Costco has an amazing assortment of books for all ages. Instead of buying those giant delicious (and alarmingly addicting) muffins pick up a new book for the kids. Also why not let them look through while you finish your shopping so you can get through your shopping list little faster (expert tip: if thumbing through the pictures doesn't keep their interest, don't buy it).

4. Add books to wish lists and registries. We added all our favorites (that I hadn't already purchased) to our baby registry. Not everyone can afford the crib bedding or stroller you're dying to get, and those bottles, pacifiers and bibs are snatched up quick, what can a well meaning acquaintance pick up? How about a hardcover of Shel Silverstein's The Giving Tree. I love to gift books to all the children in my life and while I'm fortunate enough to work with young children and know what most preschoolers are into I have a harder time shopping for teeny boppers, so a tip from parents is especially helpful.

5. Lastly my favorite, Scholastic Book Clubs. Remember those awesome flyer's that you used to get sent home monthly when you were a kid, with all your favorite Judy Blume books? Or was I the only dork begging my parents to spend 50 bucks on all the books I couldn't live without! If your child is in school and brings these flyer's home, use them. They have incredible deals. Also they allow your child's teacher to build their class library like no other. Giving your child the most books for your hard earned buck. Every month they have at least 1 book for a dollar each. I snatch up these deals for stocking stuffers, party favors, student gifts and just because gifts. Also the variety of books, hard covers, books on cd, books for your tablet and boxed sets are great. I have several boxed sets waiting for the day when Animal starts reading to himself by lamp curled up under his blankets words blurring into each other, chin falling into his chest as the book drops out of his hand from exhaustion. I digress. Is your child not in school yet? Don't fret, you can get a scholastic parent account. Full disclosure, I don't know the details of buying straight from scholastic from a parent account, but I have been a teacher running a scholastic account for my class for 14 years and they blow me away. Every. Year.

I have been collecting books for my child since I was 18, so it's no wonder he has so many books available to him. I know however that it's never too early or too late to fill your child's life with words, stories, and imagination builders. As an early childhood educator believe me I know how pricey and beyond you it can feel to provide your child an assortment of books. So use these tips. Read with your child. I promise you will see it was money well spent.

What We Are Reading: Little Bea And The Snowy Day

Little Bea And The Snowy Day

Every Christmas I order a holiday book from Scholastic book clubs for each of the students in my class. I choose the holiday book that's on sale, usually a dollar maybe two each (because I'm a preschool teacher not an engineer). I sign the book with a Christmas wish and hope they will enjoy with their family for at least a few months. 

Sometimes (most times) the book is from a known book series, but sometimes it's  new book, as was the case this year. Little Bea And The Snowy Day by Daniel Roode  published 12/27/2011. It's a book about a busy bee, her friends and their fun day in the snow.

We live in sunny California and have not yet taken our first trip to the snow. I do NOT love this book. Honestly I don't even enjoy reading it. Maybe because I didn't grow up playing in snow, and I hate the cold. This year we had a two week dip into 29-33 degree nights and days that barely touched 50 degrees and I swore I would die. So you can see I am very biased. 

Animal on the other hand LOVES this book and weeks after Christmas, this is still requested at least once a week, and I must read a minimum of twice. He loves the pictures and he likes the simple words. That rhyme on some pages and don't on others (something that makes me a little crazy, as I find it harder to find a comfortable rhythm to read aloud with). He doesn't care. I try to focus on how much I enjoy snuggling my little guy.  

So what to do with a book you don't love to read? Try a little lesson planning. Focus on skills you're trying to build on. 

I like to ask Animal questions about what the little forest friends are doing. I ask him to point out colors or help me count. I also ask open ended questions, like what kind of snow friend would you build? Because we're still working on vocabulary and communication.

At some point in the story the furry friends dig in the snow and then show each other what they have found. If you don't want to go outside, or you would like a contained area, you can do the same activity with a bowl, or water table filled with snow, fake snow in my case and small toys. You can roll "snowballs" with mashed potatoes and have a little sensory fun.

Give them measuring cups and cups or bowls of different sizes. Ask them to guess how many scoops it will take to fill each. Which will take more? Yay for math fun. 

Or have a "snowball" fight with crumpled paper if you want P.E. I can think of so many activities to do with this book that I almost love it. If you're looking for ideas or want more in this area just leave in the comments section. 

See you next Thursday, until then I hope you and your little ones can snuggle together for a great story.

What We Are Reading: Spot Goes To School

Two weeks ago we were getting Animal ready for his first day of school. We started with a visit to his classroom, and then we started reading books about starting preschool. We don't always read books that are timely with real life events, but I couldn't think of a good way to introduce the idea of school to a boy with limited life experience.

His favorite by far was: Spot Goes to School by Eric Hill. Spot is a lovable puppy (who you have probably already met if you have a toddler) with simple, fun stories that let children relate and enjoy real life experiences in a whimsical way, he (Spot) fast becomes a toddler favorite.

We have read this story a minimum of three times a day for the last  two weeks. This book is a lift the flaps book, which are very popular for the two and under crowd.

The first few times we read he couldn't help but look under the flaps as soon as I turned the page. Now with thirty plus times having heard the story, he patiently waits, little fingers itching to lift the flap, until I read the page. He's picked up a new word and laughs as he shows me what's under the flap. It's fun for both of us. Some books really benefit from you making silly voices, but the Spot books are very engaging with only a little enthusiasm from you.

There's also a website where you can have FUN WITH SPOT. Check it out, lots of information about the author, other titles, games for fun and learning and of course you can buy Spot books there.

I Thought I Was Past This...

I just wrote about this. Like two weeks ago. Also it's been on my mind in the past...

I have been extremely under the weather this week. Animal seems to have something also. He is a super healthy boy (knock on wood) except for some heinous colds, we have been golden. Thursday morning when I opened his bedroom door there was a horrendous stench. If you are a mom, you know the one. Vomit. Fucking vomit. It was on his PJs, the sheets, the breathable crib liner, and his teddy. I was scared. Scared to look too closely at anything else. I just threw his lovey, and blankets in the hamper without examination. 

I made a doctors appointment and took him in Friday. 

I think I made a terrible choice when picking our pediatrician. In my defense, she tricked me. We met her at our birthing class and she fucking sold the shit out of herself and her practice. The hubby and I gobbled it up. 

She really seemed to be all about her field. The nursing staff at the hospital also seemed to really like her. To be fair, she was really cool when he was born.

Since then however, well, it hasn't been a love fest.

We haven't seen her much, we mostly get her nurse practitioner or other doctor in her office. Some of them are awesome, some are not. She seems to have no patience for my high energy, temperamental son. That would be fine, if she was a waitress at Sizzler. She however is a pediatrician, that means she chose to work with children. They come in a wide array of temperaments. I know, because I also chose a profession that revolved around children. That means no matter how I feel inwardly about a certain persona, I am patient, kind, understanding, firm, and a professional. I don't ignore my "client" if he is a pill. 

Here' s the other thing. Any toddler in that situation can be a nightmare. Mine often is, when he's there.  I can see and feel her annoyance, and it's unsettling. 

At this visit, she didn't speak to him. Only to me. She asked me to put him on my lap, and she asked me to help her examine his mouth, ears, heart and lungs. She asked me how old he was, which I found to be super annoying seeing as she has his chart before she walks in and he's been her patient since birth. 

During the 15 minutes she spent with us, she told me "He doesn't talk". I told her, he didn't speak much, but he did have over a dozen words he said EVERY DAY, and more that he said occasionally. She repeated that "he didn't talk", and told me she wanted him to see a specialist. (Oh in case you wondered about his health, she said he was fine, his throat was irritated, he didn't need medicine. He would recover on his own) That could be. I'm not denying that he may need a specialist, I'm not a speech expert, but she didn't say hello or goodbye to him (two things he can say). She didn't try to engage him in anyway, and she didn't listen to me when I said he could talk, or even challenge what I said by asking him a question. I mentioned he'll be in preschool in just a few weeks when he turns two, and she said "why wait? You don't want to wait with speech delays"., A completely reasonable notion,  I have asked at the last two well baby appointments about a speech delay. The last two times when I was the one worried, I was told "he's a boy and in a bilingual home, don't worry, this is normal".

On her way out the door, she asked me to stop and see Cindy (the receptionist) for the appointment with specialist. 

Animal threw another little tantrum on the way out of the office because he wanted to play at the train table in the waiting room. I felt bad for him. I'm reading a discipline book right now by Dr. Karp, and it says in there to imagine myself as a toddler, always loosing. Being smaller, weaker and with less words than practically everyone around me. It's given me a lot more patience because it's so true. He just wanted to play trains, but first I whisked him away to be poked and prodded, then to be strapped into his car seat. It's no wondered he reverts to fussiness.

In the car, once music was playing, he looked at a favorite book happily. Pointing and asking "Es que?", saying "ball" and "car" when he found pictures of those things. When we got to Grandma's he didn't fuss, he just waved and said "Bye". 

On my way in to work I did a mini soul search. Am I just not wanting to believe he may have a speech delay? Is it just wishful thinking on my part because I am his mother and I only want to see the best picture of him? I would say that is a total possibility. Honestly though as I recently mentioned, he really and truly is speaking. Clearly, I'm not the only one that understands his words. Is he very verbal? No. Working with his age group also lets me see, he's not that behind any more. 

We're going to see the specialist. It can't hurt, right? If he does have a problem the sooner we know the better. I get that. I just refuse to let this person (doctor or not) who has spent only 15-30 minutes in the last year with my son. Tell me who he is, based on a mediocre (at best) visit. 

If you were me. What might you do? Or think about all this?

Es Que?

Es Que?

Guys. Animal is 22 months. Almost two years. I can't believe how fast the time has come and gone. He's huge. More than half my height. I still think of him as a baby. Not just because he can barely use a spoon with any real proficiency, and not just because he's my baby. 

It's mostly because his verbal skills are still not what Baby Centers emails lead me to believe is "normal". 

I'm not as freaked out as I used to be about all this. 

Animal is almost two, and two year olds, I know. I know them well. 

Animal 's vocabulary is not very big. At this point he has 10 words/phrases. He says: Hola, Hello, Bye, No, Oh no, Car, Ball, Es Que? (that's: that what? in English) On ta? (instead of Donde Esta? (where is it? in English).  Hi-ya (as in K is for karate kick; hi-ya)

That doesn't worry me the way is used to. I have had so many two year olds that only say No. Or Mom. Or wah wah (for water)  in Sept/Oct when they start the school year and by the end of the year you wouldn't have known they started with less words that their peers. 

I'm actually feeling pretty confident that he'll be fine and that by his second birthday he'll have about 2 dozen words. He understands a lot. In English and Spanish. If anything I'm worried that he'll lose the Spanish as English becomes more and more the predominate language. I find that I try to speak more and more Spanish as we get closer and closer to starting preschool. I'll be pushy like my parents were about him keeping up his other native tongue. 

So funny how I went from feeling like a crappy mom because my son hardly had a word, to being super scared he'll lose his bilingual status in the next few years. 

Growing up I didn't realize how important it was that I spoke, read and wrote in Spanish. Now I can't express how fearful I truly am that he wont share those skills with his grandparents, me or his extended family. 

Now as an adult I can appreciate what my parents gave up coming to the United States. 

I can't imagine leaving everything you know to go to another country, in hopes that your offspring will have more opportunity's than you could offer them in your own land. Can you fathom it?

I've never asked my parents if they realized they would create these hybrid children. Who speak another language, identify with a different culture, and are like strangers. Even more so than is the natural scheme of things as children grow into adolescents and into adulthood.  Literally not speaking the same language as your children?

That's too deep for me today. 

We'll talk about that another day. 

Beep Beep

My Car by Byron Barton is Animal's favorite book. He brings it to me at least 10 times a day. Then he crawls in my lap and puts his head against my cheek as I read.

I have this moment where I float over my body and watch the two of us. I try to take mental photographs of these moments. I know someday I'm going to wish I could have one of these moments back.

Right now though, there's this part of me that is like, "Ahhh, not again". I have read this book like a 100 times already, just this week. I have it memorized and honestly I kind of think, why isn't Animal "reading" it to me. I'm sure he knows exactly what's coming next.

I've told you all about my frustrations with his non existent vocabulary.

Update:

He doesn't say "no" anymore. He still says mom, randomly, not to me. He says "Da!" which I'm 99% sure he is saying to the hubby, because he points to our bedroom door every morning and says Da, when we walk by, and when the hubby finally stumbles out of bed, Animal stops nursing sits up, says Da and starts babbling to his father.

He also says "gua, gua", when he wants water. Short for agua, water in spanish. He says "ello" about 30% of the time when he pretends to talk on the phone or when he's really excited at meeting someone his age at the playground. Occasionally he'll say "nom, nom" when we're about to eat. That's the extent of his vocabulary at this point.

Unlike a few months ago, I'm not so worried or stressed about it anymore. It is what it is. He's going to be talking soon enough, or I'll see some signs of a problem in the next year and will take the appropriate action then. Thankfully Animal will soon be an age I know well and I can stop second guessing myself at every turn and milestone.

So, besides The Car, he also loves for me to sing the wheels on the bus, and I am noticing a slightly disturbing (to me) trend. When I sing or read "beep, beep" Animal is watching my mouth closely and is mouthing along. The words are not escaping him yet, but he's paying close attention. I know soon enough he will try to actually vocalize the words. I should be thrilled to see this.

Instead, all I can think is "Fuck, he's going to be going around going, Beep, Beep!, How is that going to help him communicate!?!"

Parenting Fail #58

Why number 58? I'm being generous with myself and estimating one parenting fail per week since the birth of my son.

Now is the following really a parenting fail? No. I honestly KNOW it isn't, but it FEELS like it is, and it is driving me bat shit crazy. Animal is 13.5 months, and he only says two words. Of those two words he only uses one correctly.

He says Mom, but not TO me, just "mom-mom-mom-mom" as he cries waiting to be picked up in the morning or randomly throughout the day. No, the word he uses in the correct context, is "No".

So my son can only say one word. The word he uses apparently reflects the fact that we don't let him do anything (because we have done little to no baby proofing besides putting outlet covers in all the outlets). 

I work with 2 year olds and have done so for many, MANY years. If a mom came into my class and was concerned in September that their child only said no, but had no apparent hearing problem, understood what was being said and babbled I would reassure them that in a matter of weeks or months of preschool their child would be speaking. Kids always catch up, always. Even if there IS a language/development problem they will attain some language skills just by being in a class with their peers and being exposed to age appropriate curriculum. I KNOW this to be true and it happens EVERY YEAR in my class with at least one child. 

Animal is only 13 months, he is growing up in a bilingual home and studies show that children exposed to more than one language speak later than their peers. It doesn't make me feel better. We all talk to him, all day long, everyday. I sing to him. My mom and hubby play all kinds of music for him. We narrate the day. Point things out and name them. I read to him. We all ask him to repeat or imitate us. The hubby and I imitate the sounds he makes. He doesn't try to copy the sounds we make. I have been doing baby sign with him since he was 5 months old. He has never signed back. 

I KNOW children develop at their own rate and Animal as strong as he is, as alert and curious as he has been since the moment he came into this world, has taken his time with everything. Not necessarily slow, but never really ahead. Except at holding his head up, he was able to that always (of course not for long at first) everything has more or less been right  in the middle to just before the "don't worry if your kids not doing it yet, some kids take longer" deadline. 

I have taken them all as parenting fails. 

The weird part is KNOWING what I, an early childhood educator, would say to a mom in this situation. 

The strange thing is knowing from real life experience and the many, many children who have been under my care, that all indicators say everything is fine. 

Animal understands the instructions we give, whether they are in English or Spanish. He makes new sounds when he babbles, all the time. There is infliction in his babbling to us. He is so verbal, it's just we don't know what he's saying. 

He never signs back, but if he's being fussy after a meal and I sign "more", he stops being fussy and smiles or opens his mouth waiting for the food. 

If he's mad because I'm changing his diaper and I sign "all done" he puts his hands up waiting for mine so he can pull himself up.

The parenting fail here isn't that Animal doesn't have more words yet. It's that I can't get past my own wants and desires for him (to often lately) to just enjoy the toddler he is right now.