TT How I Could Have Paid For Animal's College Education

I don't talk very much about breastfeeding.

Women have such strong opinions on the subject and feelings are often entangled in those opinions. You can never "win". There's nothing you can say that someone wont take offense too. Even though it's a personal choice, and every family is different, some women still feel the need to tell you how your choice sucks.

Also because some women really wanted to breastfeed, tried to breastfeed, and tried again and it just didn't work. Or they hit some stumbling block and had no one to turn to get the advice and encouragement that they needed, they gave up, maybe feel defeated and cheated out of a loving experience they hoped to share with their little bundle of joy. They don't want to hear about another woman's success. It's maybe catty, but maybe I can understand that.

For those reasons I don't share my experience nursing my son with just anyone unless asked. I don't hide it, but I also don't just joyfully share my happiness or my pride, in myself and in my body.

I thought for this week's Theme Thursday I would openly share a few thoughts on, and only about my personal experience with breastfeeding.

I, being a tree hugging hippie at heart, knew that if I ever had children I would breastfeed them. The images I had seen my whole life, led me to believe that it was the most beautiful, peaceful, natural thing in the world. I hadn't yet been hit with all the "Breast is Best" campaign material, but I had (and still have) a belief that God has provided everything we need. That my body was not just made to grow life, but to sustain it.

Early in my pregnancy the women around me started telling me that breastfeeding was not "easy" and that most likely it wouldn't work out. That I didn't have to feel bad about not being able to do it. They weren't telling me to be mean or to be discouraging. They just wanted me to be prepared for what they felt was certain failure and the hurt that they had experienced when their visions hadn't come to pass as they had dreamed while expecting their first.

Another factor was that formula is expensive. When I was looking at what our budget would be once the baby was born, it was daunting. I didn't know how we could do it. To add my son to my insurance plan was nearly 600 dollars a month. I wish that none of these things were a concern for me and my growing family but the reality is that they very much are, and sticking with my goal, to do what I happened to believe was better for my son would alleviate some of the financial strains.

I was fortunate enough to have started frequenting The Red Tent, and while there I learned about a baby fair that was centered around natural birthing. I had also already decided to try to birth my son minus the epidural and was hoping to meet a doula there. I not only found the doula that we hired, but I found The Nursing Mothers Counsel an organization that gave a breastfeeding class and hooked you up with a  counselor to help you with any questions or problems for the duration of your breastfeeding journey. FOR FREE!

I felt armed and ready. When Animal was born he took to breastfeeding like a fish to water and the first week or so, I honestly felt the way I imagined I would feel. Except that it was happening a lot more often than I had expected even though I was told to expect 8-12 feedings a day. I had to feed him every 3 hrs which meant I was sleeping maybe 2 hrs at a time, I hadn't didn't want to believed it would be like that. It was a long and beautiful week.

Then it got so painful, I was so tired and one of my nipples cracked! It was like my nipples were on fire. They burned so bad there was no relief. Not what I had imagined. I whined, came close to tears, it was the worst. I didn't know what to do. I didn't think I could go on. I remembered my counselor and gave her a call. It was hard to make that call, I was embarrassed I didn't know if it was "normal". The counselor told me what I could do to get me through and assured me that nothing was wrong. This kind of thing happened. She promised me it would get better. Her tips worked and at 8 weeks we were over the horrible hump.

I had to pump A LOT for my always hungry baby. I felt like a cow being milked. It was a little embarrassing having to take my pump with me if I was going to be out when I needed to pump, but I was really committed. It wasn't easy, just like I'd been warned, but I felt all of these things were worth it.

Another unexpected thing, was the comments people make. Once you become a parent everybody and their momma feels like they have to share their opinion. Their opinion is likely to include what your doing wrong. If I had a dollar for every time someone made a negative comment about my breastfeeding , or how we were being crazy I probably wouldn't have to worry about Animal's college education. Among the most surprising annoying things was a childless friend telling my husband that there was no evidence that breastfeeding was beneficial to my son. A doctor telling me that it was not OK for me to not feed my son at least baby cereal once he turned 4 months (we were waiting until 6 months to introduce solids), and finally my mom insisting my aunt was right when she told me that I couldn't let my back get cold or my milk would "dry up".

It doesn't matter. All of those things people said, all of the problems, all of the inconveniences, don't matter one bit. It was the best choice for me and my family. My husband and I have loved this journey. It has been an amazing bonding experience for my son and I. It eases my guilt just a little that I had to go back to work so soon. I will always and forever cherish every memory that was made. I don't regret any of it.


This post is part of a multi blogger collaboration to read others ideas on this weeks theme (or add your own) just click the TT button.

TT Traditions

With Christmas around the corner, decorations everywhere, holiday music playing at the local Starbucks, and desserts popping up every where you look, you must have guessed a holiday post was eminent.

This week's topic: What do you love/hate about Christmas? I happen to LOVE Christmas, it's my favorite holiday. Here's a short? list of everything I love about it.

• Friends and Family
• Drinking
• Baking/eating baked treats
• Christmas trees
• Christmas movies, like Scrooged, A Christmas Story, A Christmas Carol, Miracle on 34th Street, and It's A Wonderful Life
• Shopping with the people I love in mind or not, some years we haven't exchanged gifts.
• Time off from work
• People *trying* to be nice
• Christmas decorations
• Reconnecting with friends

What I love best though, are traditions. Not just mine and my families, but every one's. I love that everyone has traditions. 

I love the nostalgia I get when my mom puts up the manger. 


I love decorating our tree, with only ornaments that are special. One for each year we have been together, one for each of our kitties, hand made and store bought ones from friends and students, one, now two for each of my sons Christmas's, one that's just the hubby's (it's a special BEARS one) and one that's just mine (a cocktail glass). As I take them out of the box I can remember the years, and all the special people in our lives. It's never going to make a picture perfect tree but it will always be unique to us.

I love knowing that in early December the hubby and I will be taking our niece and now my son to see Christmas lights at the county park. 

The holiday dinner I'll share with my co-workers, I especially love the drink we'll share and the laughs we'll have not having to sensor our conversation. 

I love knowing Christmas eve I'll spend the day at my mom's house preparing tamales, with her, my dad and siblings. Maybe an aunt or cousin will stop by and we'll laugh and talk and enjoy each other. I love eating those tamales and savoring the hard work and good times we shared on that day and all the years that have already been.

I love opening a gift just the hubby and I at midnight on Christmas eve. I love Christmas morning just the two of us, our cats and our son. I love knowing that we will do this every year and that as time goes on and Animal grows up, we will add new traditions that our just ours. 

I grew up in a Santa free home and so will Animal. I know some people think that takes away from the fun, but I think it opens you up to the real spirit of Christmas. I'm excited to teach my son that, if not year round, this is a time to give of yourself.

NOW, just so you know even though Christmas is my favorite holiday that doesn't mean I don't hate things about it. Here's a short list of things I hate:

• Commercialism (I know, I know this holiday is saturated and deep fried in the shit)
• Christmas decorations in October, before Halloween. (WTF!)
• Not having enough time, or money to bake everything I want.
• Not having enough money to donate to everything I want to. Or for my family, and people I appreciate.

That's basically it. What can I say, "It's the most wonderful time of the year".

This post is part of a multi blogger collaboration to view what other bloggers love/hate about Christmas click the Theme Thursday button.