This morning when I got to work I found an invitation to a students 3rd birthday. I walked over to my sons file and found that Animal had also been invited (along with the whole class). I immediately thought two things.
1) She doesn't realize he's my son.
2) I have a dilemma.
The party happens to be on the last Sunday in May at 1:30. Posing a few problems. The time is during Animal's nap time. We put him down at 1. If he sleeps he's down till 3-4 missing party. We could skip nap, he's kind of transitioning out of them. The problem is he needs it. In fact he's hard to tolerate without one that I'm afraid to have my highly excitable toddler out in a yard full of other hyped up 2.5-3.5 year olds.
It's a kid's birthday party, and to me that means sugar. You may or may not know how I feel about that, but the short if it is it is, we keep that shit down to a minimum. We don't serve juice in our home, I bring water to any event we attend and I water it down when I'm forced to give in. The hubby and I don't allow fruit snacks or marshmallows, and we keep other sweets to one on special occasions.
I don't say anything to anyone else about it. I don't make loud (or even quiet) comments about why or how. We just say, no thanks. Does Animal happily shrug it off? Sometimes, but he's a toddler and sometimes he cries when we say no to a second helping (or a first). It's hard because he's two, he wants, what he wants, when he wants it. It's also hard because we provide a lot of nutritious food and we don't limit it. We don't force him to eat either. If he takes two bites of lunch and says "I'm done", we say okay. He'll eat when he's hungry. It's an issue for some people. Maybe they think we're dicks. Maybe they think we think they're bad parents. I don't ask you to defend what you feed your kid, and I would appreciate not having to defend what I don't feed mine. It's just easier not to deal with it.
The fact that we got two separate invitations let's me know these parents (and I know they're not the only ones) don't know Animal is my son. The teachers son. I'm not in the mood to broadcast that. Especially when he'll most likely be batty from no nap.
Last, the last Sunday of every month is family day. My siblings and I go to my parents house and have a meal together, and catch up. It's a rare occasion we are all in the same place at the same time. Or it was until family day started last year. I don't want to miss it.
What say you? Please comment or tweet I really need opinions. Am I just being selfish? Or do you agree there will be other parties?
I think in this case, when it does fall on your prescheduled family day you should forgo the invites. You will teach your son that family is more important. A lesson that is always important.
ReplyDeleteBut as far as parties and food, etc....this may or may not work for you, we do not really limit sugar as we are kind of a family that grazes. But we have a no juice/soda ban. At 10 my daughter will stay firm and say no thank you may I have water please? We have taught her at a very young age that a party she must first have fruit/cheese/veggies BEFORE she is allowed one bite of crap. Now at 10 she automatically goes for the good stuff first and will moderate the crap.
I think that is what you are trying to instill in your son, moderation. So at a party, say thank you for the X but he will have Y first. You will be surprised how fast your son will catch on.
I love that suggestion Kerri! I'm going to talk to my husband about it so instead of answering for him we can teach him to respond. Moderation is exactly our goal, currently we are so strict because of tooth decay and his hyper activity. He often surprises folks, because he usually doesn't complain about eating the healthy stuff before the treat.
DeleteAnd I do want him to know family comes first, excellent point. Before we started family day we were only all together on Christmas eve!
I wholeheartedly agree with Kerri. I also think that maintaining the schedule is good for Animal and will help him when he is old enough to make those choices on his own.
ReplyDeleteThanks. I really think that's true as well, but it's easy to say when it's what I want ;)
DeleteDon't go. Keep up your schedule. Spend time time with your family, which you will probably treasure more than going to the birthday party.
ReplyDeleteI will definitely enjoy a relaxing meal and a few laughs with the family more. Thanks for chiming in.
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